Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Spiritual Insomnia

I couldn’t sleep last night. After speaking at our local winter FCA rally, I got home late. My mind was still buzzing at 1:30 this morning when I finally went to bed. After tossing until almost 3am, I dozed off… until 6:30. That happens to me a lot.

So my mind wandered into Fight Club, a movie I’ve seen at least a hundred times, and the I Ching of my life (next to the Scripture). “When you have insomnia, nothing is real. Everything is a copy…of a copy…of a copy.” So states Ed Norton’s character in the movie. BTW, his character’s name is never revealed in the movie…he is Everyman.

Basic truth: Every one of us was born an original. From our fingerprint down to our DNA, there is no one else exactly like any other one of us. We are each remarkably and wonderfully made. You were born an original.

But most of us will die a poor, pathetic copy. Society’s relentless pursuit of squeezing us into a mold never quits. We look like everyone else. Talk like everyone else. Work the same jobs, eat the same food, desire the same stupid gadgets as everyone else. Color inside the lines. Walk single file. Don’t make waves.

The problem is that we were created to be a receptacle of the Divine. To be ordinary is to be only ‘more of the same’. As a human made in God’s image, my being screams out against this with every pore. To be ‘just another one of those’ is deadening agony to me. It has actually driven some people to their death. But it was never God’s intention for you and I to be a copy of anything…except Christ.

Each of us wants to be extraordinary. We were built to count for something. Anything. Placed in a specific context to count in ways that no one else does. That is our destiny.

So what happened?
Climbing the spiritual mountain is sometimes exhausting. The fact is that very few people will ever climb a (real or spiritual) mountain. Most of us will drive or ride up to the top, get out, and take some nice pictures to show our friends. Spiritually, it’s not much different. We don’t want to pay the price to ‘climb’ when we can just ride our way to the Summit.

By the way, you can’t get ‘Summit quality’ gear at the mall. That’s also true spiritually.

And, if you’re going to climb, you need a partner to hold the rope. A copy (who rides his way up just to take pictures)



At 12:46 AM, Blogger Rhapsody 4 Christ said...

Here is a little blast from the past...
I often have insomnia, too. Which is what is happening to me right now. Our church has been going through tough times lately, and our senior pastor just resigned on 12-11-05 due to health reasons contracted from toxic mold in the church. I was googling to see what the new pastor looks like--he's coming in view of a call in Jan-- when I decided to google your name to see where you were now.

Rick and I just celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary on the 19th. Boy, I am getting old!!

Anyway, this past year or so has really convicted me to step out of the box. I am a one year survivor of thyroid cancer, and I have learned to view life and those I love in a whole new realm. I have fallen in love with Jesus Christ, and enjoy learning more about Him everyday. One of my favorite books is Life of the Beloved by Henri Nouwen. Have you ever read any of his literature? I have really enjoyed his work. I have also done several Beth Moore bible studies, and Kayla (my 12-soon-to-be-teenager daughter) and I got to meet her in November.

Melody Watson Steel

At 6:24 PM, Blogger mcgillagorilla said...

i dont know u and u dont know me but this is one of the greastest things i have ever read.... ever
its sounds creepy but i printed out a copy so when ever i forget i can reread it and be inspired.. it's exactly the same way i felt after watching fight club... as it was meant to be for every audience member... but i forgot and this "blog" reminded me.. and its great

ok done being creepy now


At 6:25 PM, Blogger mcgillagorilla said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 5:41 AM, Blogger tom cottar said...

no worries about being creepy...:p
Thanks for your kind words, though. It's weird to some, but the movie made a huge impact on me. Got any thoughts on the movie? My fav scene is when Tyler is walking around the basement of Lou's Tavern and gives the 'we are the middle children of history' speech....amazing.


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