Sunday, January 15, 2006

Pat Robertson At It Again

Devil Laid Veep Low, Evangelist Says
One week after claiming that God had caused Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's massive stroke, the Reverend Pat Robertson today said that Satan had given Vice President Dick Cheney the shortness of breath that resulted in his brief hospitalization on Monday.
"Vice President Cheney is dedicated to defeating the evildoers in Iraq, and that angered the evilest doer of all, Satan," Rev. Robertson said on today's edition of his religious talk show, "The 700 Club."
Rev. Robertson pointed out, however, that four hours after Satan sent Mr. Cheney to the hospital, the vice president was released because "God made him better."
He also extended his best wishes for a fast recovery to California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who was involved over the weekend in what the evangelist called "a motorcycle accident that I'm pretty sure was caused by Satan."
According to Re. Robertson, after he heard that Gov. Schwarzenegger's motorcycle had crashed with a car, "My first thought was that the car had been driven either by Satan or maybe by President Hugo Chavez of Venezuela."
Mr. Schwarzenegger suffered only minor injuries, Rev. Robertson said, proving that "try as he might, Satan is no match for a Republican."
A spokesman for Gov. Schwarzenegger offered no comment on Rev. Robertson's comments, but said that the fifteen stitches the governor had received on his lip had made him "even more difficult to understand than before."
Elsewhere, experts said that weeks before the avian flu reaches the United States, counterfeit knockoffs of the avian flu would be available across China.

*disclaimer: the above is a parody, and is not really true as far as we can tell...but, then again, it's Pat. There's still time...


At 9:00 AM, Blogger Jimmie W. Kersh said...

Glad you are back at it again.


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